Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What symptoms did you notice before being diagnosed with cancer?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Don't miss the half-lit first quarter moon rise tonight — Here's what to look for - Space

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

They Were 8,000-Pound Sloths With Claws and Armor – Then Humans Showed Up - SciTechDaily

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy bullshit

Scoop: Treasury officials defend "revenge tax" from wary GOP senators - Axios

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

Reds star Elly De La Cruz homers after learning of the death of his sister - AP News

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I feel so attached and in love with a dead celebrity. My love for anyone else is overshadowed by my love for him. What does this mean?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

What’s next for Fannie and Freddie under Trump administration? - Investing.com

I can read

I have a reading level above third grade

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why was Cars 2 so bad?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

New COVID variant is spreading. Don’t underestimate it, experts say. - NJ.com

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

How do I express sarcasm in non-dialogue text when writing a fiction novel?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I see through liars

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.